"I had to save myself”: Former Olympia competitor, 52, shares full prep and comeback from mental health crisis
James Llewellin opens up on mental health, sobriety and his return to competitive bodybuilding – while documenting his full prep ahead of the PCA Universe
By Gary Chappell
FORMER Olympia competitor James Llewellin says he had to “save himself” after a mental health crisis that saw him drinking up to two litres of vodka every weekend – and is now documenting his bodybuilding comeback at 52.
Llewellin is preparing to step on stage at the PCA Universe next month, just seven months after hitting what he describes as “rock bottom”.
“I never embarked on this journey to step on stage again,” he said. “I embarked on it to save myself from my destructive tendencies.”
Just months ago, Llewellin was in a very different place. In September last year, his partner was forced to call a crisis mental health team during the early hours of the morning.
“I was in a real mess,” he said. “I’m not ashamed to talk about it. Just like physical injuries, mental ones can be much tougher to recover from."
Last year, up until late summer, Llewellyn says he had fallen into destructive habits that spiralled over an 18-month period.
“I was drinking between 1.5 and two litres of vodka every weekend,” he said. “That went on for around 18 months.”
He admits it was compounded by poor nutrition, vaping and inconsistent training.
“In September 2025 I suffered a breakdown," he said. "There was emergency mental health intervention and I was at rock bottom. It was truly frightening. I felt there was no way out.
“I had everything I could ever want – a beautiful family, a home – but I was suffering silently with zero confidence and extreme anxiety. Even social situations petrified me.”
Despite being offered immediate support, Llewellin made a decision that would shape the next phase of his life.
“I knew the problem I had. I had to stop drinking and become sober. Start taking care of myself again – eating properly, training consistently and getting back into a routine.”
A return to structure
Seven months on, the transformation has been as much mental as it has physical.
“I’m healing well, focused, motivated and excited for the future again,” he said.
For Llewellin, the process of bodybuilding – not the stage – has always been the driving force.
“Competing isn’t my favourite part of bodybuilding," he said. "The journey is what I love. Transforming your body into something unrecognisable is addictive. Like any addict, swapping one addiction for another is often the easiest path.”
James Llewellin's bodybuilding journey spans more than 30 years and he admits it is ingrained in who he is.
“I know no different. I live for this process and the strength it gives me.”
Helping others by speaking out
Llewellin’s decision to open up about his struggles has resonated far beyond his own journey. And he hopes sharing his experience will encourage others to address their own struggles.
“I’ve had hundreds of messages over the last few months,” he said. “It’s shocking how many people remained silent until I spoke up.
“There’s no shame in talking about how you’re feeling. It’s OK to feel down some days – that’s normal. But when it starts to impact your life every day, it’s time to recognise it and do something about it.”
A different battle at 52
Now just weeks out from competition, Llewellin admits this prep has been unlike any he has experienced before.
“As we age, our bodies change," he said. "Dieting is very different. Food intolerances, training style, even certain PEDs – things are never the same.”
After initially preparing alone, he has brought in coach Jay Davies in the final stages of prep.
“I’m hugely competitive – that hasn’t changed," said Llewellin. "But now it’s about bettering myself. It’s me against me. I could have cruised in and looked respectable. But I always want more. I want to be freaky.”
James Llewellin full prep bodybuilding protocol
Llewellin has been documenting his full contest prep, including both his performance-enhancing drug protocol and his exact diet.
At just under five weeks out, his daily nutrition is structured across six meals:
Meal 1
4 fried eggs, 2 slices seeded toast, 1 Activia yoghurt, berries
Train
Meal 2 (post-workout)
2 scoops Pro Recover, 1 scoop whey, oats, 1 banana
Meal 3
Turkey or chicken mince with half a rice pot
Meal 4
Oats, 1 scoop whey, handful of raisins, handful of granola, oat milk
Meal 5
Either steak and 2 eggs with half a rice pot, or 2 salmon fillets with a rice pot (alternated daily)
Meal 6
Small tub Fage yoghurt with berries, 1 scoop whey and a handful of cashews
Fluid intake: approximately two litres per day.
PED Protocol
At the same stage of prep, Llewellin also revealed he is using:
- 350mg testosterone per week
- 350mg masteron per week
- 350mg winstrol depot per week
- One Proviron daily
- Nolvadex daily
- 25mcg T3 daily
- 4iu GH on waking
Despite the level of detail, his overall approach remains unconventional. He is not tracking calories or macros, is not weighing food and had not introduced cardio at this stage of prep.
Instead, he is relying on instinct, experience and visual feedback built over 30 years in the sport on.
More than just a comeback
For James Llewellin, bodybuilding is no longer just about the stage.
“It’s been an amazing journey over the last six months," he said. "I lost myself for a couple of years, but I’ve found myself again.
“This doesn’t end when prep finishes. This is a lifelong journey for me – to find a happy place.”
And when he walks out at the PCA Universe, it will represent far more than just another contest appearance.
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