How IBFA Mr Universe made his baby girl in heaven proud

This bodybuilding motivation story reflects on loss, purpose and the drive to keep moving forward – both in life and in the gym.

PROFILE: NEAL MAYER

NEAL MAYER has kept his promise to the baby daughter he lost eight years ago. Playing in heaven, she is undoubtedly looking down very proud of her dad. This season he has become IBFA Mr Universe, with three first-place finishes under his belt and two overalls. This is his story:

1: What first drew you to bodybuilding? 

Like a lot of bodybuilders who were born in the 80’s and who grew up in the 90’s, watching Arnold and Sylvester Stallone movies was without doubt my earliest influence. I was in awe of how they looked. The reason I joined a gym, however, was when I left school weighing over 16 stone. I was very overweight and self conscious about it. Back then there was no You Tube or social media and I didn’t have access to information on how to lose weight properly. I thought you just didn’t eat. I saw the old Special K diet ad on TV and would just have two bowls a day and go running for miles. This developed into an eating disorder to the point I was having just a bowl a day. I would try to go as many days as possible without eating. At my lowest weight I was just over eight stone and became obsessed with seeing seven on the scale. Eventually I made a promise to my parents to stop, so I joined a gym to try and build some muscle and improve how I felt about the way I looked. 

2: What’s your ‘why’? What keeps you pushing through hard preps and off-seasons?  

My why is the memory of my little baby girl who I lost eight years ago. I’d stepped away from bodybuilding to start a family and become a dad. Unfortunately that wasn’t to be. I fell into a dark place after and the gym was the thing that saved me. It gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning and to keep going. I decided to return to competing and made a promise to Faith that I would make her proud. She’s my drive to this day to never give up and to keep going no matter what.

3: How would you describe your relationship with your body today? 

Like most bodybuilders, I do suffer with body dysmorphia. There are days I can be happy with how I’m looking, think everything is improving and by the next day think it’s the worst I’ve ever looked! I still carry my eating disorder that I had in my teens, only now it’s in reverse. Whereas no matter how skinny I got I thought I was fat, now no matter how big I get I think I’m small! Before, I’d struggle to eat, whereas now if I miss a meal it’s practically the end of the world! I think it’s something that stays with you no matter what. Over the years I have learnt to use it as a positive though, as it keeps me driven to keep working hard and pushing to be better. The day I finally look in the mirror and am truly happy is the day I lose that drive inside of me. 

4: Was there a turning point where you started to see yourself as an athlete, not just a gym-goer? 

The biggest turning point for me was last year. Having competed for 10 years, I was never the most confident. I was happy to place in the top three in a regional and didn’t really have that confidence to believe in myself. I started working with a new coach three years ago and he brought me to a different level physique wise, but mentally I still didn’t really believe in myself. After a year off, I won my first show upon my return, then went on to place second at the Worlds in Rome and third at the Britain. I remember people congratulating me after coming second in the world but I struggled to reply as I genuinely believed I was going out there to win and was so disappointed. The old me would have been delighted with second but I had finally found that winner's mentality and now expect and demand from myself that I win these shows. So it was a huge turnaround in my self belief.

5: What’s something people often misunderstand about you — or about bodybuilding in general? 

That I’m scary when I’m really the biggest softy! People see the tattoos and size and there’s a certain stereotype attached with that. Everyone is always shocked to find once they talk to me I’m nothing like that, which is always nice to hear. I never want anyone to think I’m not approachable. 

6: How do you mentally handle show-day nerves or physique comparisons? 

I’m honestly pretty chilled show day. I tend to go find a little quiet spot to chill out until it’s time to get ready. I do have a little ritual backstage just before I go on, where I say a prayer to Faith and ask her to look after her dad out there and not make me fall over in front of everyone. And that I love her. Then I’m all good to go.

7: What does your ideal off-season look like, mentally and physically? 

My off-season now looks a lot different than it used to. On prep I’ve always been very disciplined but during my off-season I would get carried away with chasing the scales and eating the wrong types of food and put on too much body fat. My coach’s biggest feedback was that I approach prep like a professional but off-season like an amateur. I realised that was the difference in winning shows and coming second and third. Now my off-season is a lot more structured. I eat basically the foods I do on prep, just more of them and keep the processed food and junk to a minimum. We only had a small three-month off season this time between my last two preps and the improvements I made in such a short period were more than I made in the previous year. So moving forward my mentality is to approach my off-season like a professional just as I do on prep. I’m excited to see the improvements I can make with a full year off. 

What sacrifices have you had to make to chase this goal? 

There are definitely sacrifices you make when it comes to bodybuilding. Relationships suffer, your social life suffers, financially it’s not cheap. However, I run a gym and bodybuilding has also given me a career that I love, in the industry I’m passionate about. I’ve also met some of the most amazing people along the way and had the best experiences chasing my dreams. Bodybuilding has given me so much in life, so I gladly give back to it.

9: If you weren’t bodybuilding, where do you think your focus would be? 

If I wasn’t bodybuilding I genuinely don’t think I’d be here. Without being dramatic, bodybuilding saved my life. It gave me a reason and purpose to carry on when I didn’t want to be here any more at my darkest time. I’m very lucky I had the gym as a place to go and heal. 

10: Is there a quote, book, or philosophy you live by — inside or outside of bodybuilding? 

My philosophy in life is to just always try to be a good person. To help people when it’s possible. One thing I’m very lucky with is that I was raised by two amazing parents who instilled good old-fashioned values and beliefs in me and my brother. I’m very grateful for that.

11: What’s the hardest thing you've ever overcome — in life or in sport? 

I’ve spoken about losing my baby girl Faith. Without a doubt nothing comes close to that. Shortly after that I did tear my pec off the bone. I was training so angry that I became reckless and one day in the gym I overloaded a bar and tore it straight off. I was told my bodybuilding career was over and it couldn't be fixed. After going for a second opinion, the surgeon agreed to repair it but it would never be 100 per cent. We had the surgery and the surgeon did an amazing job, which I’m for ever grateful for. The downtime out of the gym was very hard. I was still going through the loss of Faith and now my one release had been taken away from me. You watch yourself downsizing and there’s nothing you can do about it but rest and heal and promise yourself that you’re going to come back stronger and better than before. After three months I was able to start rehab. I was back in the gym light training after five months. But that was definitely a very challenging period for me that I do feel made me a much stronger person. 

12: How do you unwind or reset when you’re not training or dieting? 

 I love movies. I’m a massive horror fan, particularly from the 80’s and 90’s. I’m also a big wrestling nerd. I think most people grow out of it as a kid but not me! Im a football fan also and support Arsenal and Celtic. My party days are long over but a fun night out for me would be cinema or the theatre and a good meal.

13: How has bodybuilding changed your view of confidence, discipline, or self-worth? 

Bodybuilding has given me so much. It’s given me a purpose. It’s given direction in life. I’m someone who needs structure and routine and my whole day revolves around my meals and what time I’m training. The discipline I take from bodybuilding I use in my career and have worked my way up as a gym instructor to running my own club. My biggest satisfaction is hiring young, newly qualified PTs and helping them develop the skills and knowledge they need to build their business to progress in the industry and be successful. 

14: What is your current training split and why? 

I do the old school bro split. I do a three-day split and rest, followed by a four-day split. So it would look like, chest, back, shoulders, rest. Followed by legs, chest, back, shoulders. I’ll put small muscle groups like biceps and triceps in with one of the large upper body days, with Sunday always being leg day. Push, pull, legs never appealed to me. I really like to focus on one large muscle group in a workout and destroy it from every angle.

15: Do you feel pressure to always look a certain way outside of prep? 

Not really. The biggest thing I say to kids in the gym is if you want to grow real tissue then you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and not try stay looking in shape year round. Putting on body fat is part of the process of growing muscle. Obviously the better quality of food, the harder you train the better you’ll look, but don’t be afraid to put on some fat in your off-season. I’ve never been one to wear vests in the gym. You’ll always see me in big baggy oversized T shirts and joggers. I like to train in comfort. Even when I’m on prep I’m covered up and won’t post any updates on instagram about how I’m looking. I prefer to keep covered up until it’s time to step on stage. 

16: Have your relationships (friends, family, dating) changed because of your lifestyle? 

Dating and friendships certainly have but my family are very supportive of me no matter what I chose to do in life. Friendship wise, I grew up with a close group of mates but we're no longer close due to none really being into the gym lifestyle. It was very much a friendship based on nights out and a drinking culture. I've been lucky to meet some good friends and training partners from being in a gym environment over the years. I try to surround myself with similar minded people that are not only driven to succeed but also more knowledgeable and experienced than me in order to help me grow and improve. Relationship wise, I’ve never actually dated someone who competed, which has caused issues as they don’t necessarily understand what you go through during a prep. If I was to get in a relationship moving forward, it would have to be with someone in the industry as not only would they understand what a challenge prep is but would be someone to share those experiences with. I’ve always loved the idea of being with someone you can train with, prep food with, support each other at shows and push each other to achieve our goals. Also, the cheat meals in the off-season would be epic! This reminds me of a famous pic of Arnold with Franco in the gym together and under it the caption “maybe the real gains were the friendships we made along the way”. I think that phrase perfectly sums up my recent trip to Italy for the Universe.

17: Can you give us one of your favourite prep meals and one of your favourite off-season meals? 

Favourite prep meal is without doubt my post-workout meal, which is currently 100g cream of rice sticky toffee pudding mixed with 50g whey iso choc brownie batter. The trick is you only mix a small bit of water into the whey powder so it’s very thick and becomes like melted chocolate. Pour that over the cream of rice and not only is it the perfect easy digestible meal for after training but hits that sweet treat craving you get on prep with zero sugar. When I’m off prep I make it even better by adding things like banana, 80 per cent dark chocolate, raisins, berries or peanut butter. For my off-season meal, I'll give you my favourite post competition cheat meal I’ve had this season so far. This was a Papa Johns extra pepperoni XXL pizza, with cheesy tater tots and cheese and bacon, with garlic pizza bread. Then I had chocolate chip cookies with chocolate filled doughnuts! Was unreal! 

18: What’s next for you — as an athlete, as a person, or both? 

I just won the overall at the IBFA Mr Universe, which was an unbelievable moment for me and my biggest achievement in competitive bodybuilding to date. It was my second overall win this season, so I’m very happy with how this year has gone. I’ll then be taking a full year off to grow and make the improvements needed to get me to the next level. I’ve done two very long preps back to back now, with just three months off in between, so a full year off is something that’s very much needed. I’ll then be aiming to be back on stage towards the end of next year with the focus on becoming a British champion.

19: Who inspires you and why? Could be in bodybuilding or beyond. 

There are the obvious answers in bodybuilding, of course Arnold who, as I touched on earlier, was a huge influence on me to go to the gym when I was younger. My two all-time favourite bodybuilders are Lee Priest and Markus Ruhl, as I’ve always preferred the freaky mass-monster look. Lee Priest I believe was the most incredibly structured and complete bodybuilder I’ve ever seen. If I’m honest though, my real inspiration is my mum. As you get older, you appreciate the things your parents had to do to provide for us that you didn’t understand as a child. We didn’t have much growing up but my dad worked very hard to keep a roof over our head and put food on the table. And my mum would take on carer or cleaning jobs to have extra money to make sure we didn’t go without. Even though she couldn’t afford it she would always find a way to get me and my brother things like football boots, kits, bikes, PlayStations, birthday parties. She worked herself so hard to give us the things they never had growing up. I was very lucky to have such amazing parents and they are my real inspiration. 

20: If you could send one message to your younger self, what would it be? 

To just slow down, take your time and don’t rush things. Everything will fall into place in its own time and you will get to where you’re supposed to be when the time is right, not before. 

*ALL PICTURES BY ANTHONY CHIA-BRADLEY

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